You could be forgiven for assuming that parents who are musicians are in a better position to help their children with music practice than those who have never had the privilege of taking lessons.  Not so!  When it comes to helping your child develop as a musician, it’s not your skills in music that counts.  Your role is to support, not teach.  In fact, a study by Margiotta [1] found “No significant correlation … between the parents’ musical competence and the students’ level of attainment.”  So, if you’ve never taken a music lesson, you can breathe a sigh of relief. 

The emotional support you give, and the habits you help your child develop on a daily basis, will have a greater impact on how well your child does than will the teacher’s efforts during a once-a-week lesson.   Music students benefit from the support of parents who have little or no background in music when they help with practice by encouraging good practice habits, teaching social skills and helping develop cognitive skills.  In fact, having a parent who is a highly skilled musician can be discouraging for the novice who sees an overwhelming gap between her abilities and that of the parent.  I remember perusing my older sister’s textbooks when I was a young child, and worrying that I’d never be able to understand what she was learning. … And she was only 2 years older! 

When experts in any discipline are highly-trained, their knowledge becomes intuitive.  It can be difficult to remember what it was like to be a novice, potentially causing expert musician parents' expectations to be unrealistically high.  If unrealistic expectations cause the child much stress, brain areas needed for learning will be flooded with stress chemicals which impair learning. [2]  Too much pressure to perform and fear of failure may result in unnecessary conflict between parent and child and result in unfortunate lifelong negative associations with music.  Maintaining a positive and accepting attitude towards the child and towards practice nurtures the child’s commitment and motivation.  While some conflict may be inevitable, it is important to put relationship first.

Musician parents and non-musician parents have lots to offer when they are encouraging and patient.  Parents have the most potential to help their child succeed with music by helping children be goal-oriented in their practice and helping them cultivate perseverance, a good work ethic and self-regulation skills.  For that, you don’t need to be a musician.

To learn how you can support your child’s musical development, see Blog articles Preparing Your Child for Music Learning and Non-musical Ways to Help with Practice. 

REFERENCES

[1] p. 27, in Margiotta, M. (2011). Parental support in the development of young musicians: a teacher’s perspective from a small-scale study of piano students and their parents. Australian Journal of Music Education 1. 16-30.

            [2] p. 273, in Goleman, D. (2006). Social intelligence: the revolutionary science of human relationships. New      York, NY: Random House